Returning to Wales…
A Masters course in Aberystwyth was not what I expected in 2024, but here we are! Upon visiting some friends in Aberystwyth (where I lived for 5 years and completed my Ba) I decided spontaneously apply for the Fine Art Masters which was commencing the following week. It came as one of those moments in life where a decision almost makes it self for you, I just had to trust. I had been living back home with my parents in Bournemouth for the last year. A year that felt quite unremarkable, especially when comparing it to my life that I had before in Wales. But now it felt it was the right time move away. Aberystwyth can appear as though it traps people; students who never leave, maybe it’s something about the spectacular sunsets and slow pace that gives you withdrawals if you are away for long enough. But there is something to be said for making yourself at home, building community and connection. Here I feel I am part of something, life feels bigger, there is an energy unique to the area, an alternative way of living presents itself. I am surrounded by nature, stories, memories, opportunities and adventures, and of course, Wales in all its Welsh-ness. There is something uniquely special about being English yet finding yourself feeling more at home in Wales, experiencing a connection to the land that mystifies your sense of everything. Hearing a tongue native to these rugged hills and dramatic landscapes, learning to make new sounds and jump into conversations with the little Welsh you know. All these things are so enriching, and fuel something in me, this yearning for life and experience. It is the material for the painting, the subject matter, life is the subject. I mean, what is life? This is what we are all figuring out, we can’t say it can we. You can dissect a frog, you can use a microscope to look closer and closer but you cannot see what makes it alive. This questioning, fascination with the essence of all things, the force which drives nature, the way life flows, is constantly baffling to me. I trusted in moving back to Wales, in returning to education. I mean life is education, its all learning and experience. Even writing a blog, this is part of one of my modules but I will use it in a way to express a bit of what is going on in writing. But this is always something i’ve struggled with. I can paint and I can talk, I love talking about paint. But slowing down my thinking enough to write, it always scares me. Suddenly i’m back in school and being marked on how well I can structure a sentence. I also like to hide behind my paintings, as these are works i’ve developed, poured everything into. The paintings are the things I cannot say with words, and I guess the Masters will help me express the language I need to support the paintings further. I feel I am going off track, as this post is meant to be about retuning to Wales, but all these thoughts come about when I think about the circumstances that have lead to me moving back to Aberystwyth. I definitely underestimated how difficult it would be to move back. Finding a house was near impossible, by sheer luck I found a place. Having no routine yet or own living space to unwind provided me with problems like not being able to paint as much. I had gone from painting for so many hours a day back home to hardly any at all, adjusting to a new studio has not been the seamless transition that I expected. As the studio is a very significant space, it has to be curated in a way to allow magic to happen, a space where you can slip into a different dimension whilst painting. I felt suddenly I was back at square one, having to work to build a new routine for creating again.